thursday march 8

well i'm at the internet cafe and feeling helpless. my ex needed my help on something and i helped. she has to work over and is feeling depressed and sad. i want to take away her sadness but she's not mine anymore. i'm troubled by this because i know her and i know what would cheer her up some. but i am here in ny and she is in florida so i still wouldn't be able to do anything. helpless and mad. i don't like seeing her like this. I pray for her. it's all i can do. so i go about doing my stuff but worry still. i try to put it out of my mind but it creeps back in. i tell myself why do you do this? she isn't your concern, leyt it go. i can't, 12 years is still 12 years and the caring i just can't put away. never will i don't think. so worry i do but i try to be her friend and let her bend my ear if she needs. she has been there for me, it's the least i can do. just needed to get that out. i feel a little better now. huggles, Randy