monday march 5th

Well just like yesterday only worse, i awoke to snow. more today than yesterday and it's still coming down. we have at least a foot of fluffy snow. i knew this was going to happen. story of my life. sometimes i wonder, am i supposed be in new york? i look out at the snow and cold and say, heck no give me the warm weather or hot weather enough of the snow. Mom's memorial was tough. my ex emailed me a letter she wanted me to read and i did. I recorded it on my laptop and made it into a dvd if anybody would like email me or comment here and i'll get one out to you. it's been hard being away from my family. then my ex finally reads this blogs and seals the deal. that meaning we truly are done. maybe i still had hope, i feel that way at least. too much love for someone and not knowing how to show it. shame on me. the time away has showed me more pain. i wonder sometimes if i can make it through this. some days are better than others.if i don't talk to her i wonder what is going on then realize the new guy is there and she can't talk to me which i think sucks. when she does call my world feels complete. not that want her back but the fact that i know things are good and i can get the updates of whats going on. just saying she will always be important to my life. an amazing woman and mother. yesterday i counted my blessings. found out i am really blessed. i don't walk alone ever in this life. they say when a couple splits someone gets all the friends. i have to disagree because i thought she would get them all. yesterday showed me i have many that we share. so today i am happy. life is ok and move forward again. i hold my head up and look to the future with good friends. i am going to end here for now. huggles, Randy